Agent S.P. Curtis here on a mission. A mission to get Ponyboy Curtis back in Britney Spear's fan club.
After hours of tears and shreds of Britney Spear's posters, I S.P. Curtis decided to track down the Pop diva and give her a piece of my mind. I started by stalking her twitter account to see if she posted her whereabouts. She had a concert in Tulsa this week so she couldnt be too far. I left my phone on her twitter page while I snuck around the venue where her concert was gonna be. I wandered unnoticed for almost two hours when finally, a twitter update. "Sitting in my dressing room, getting ready for tonight's concert in Tulsa. It's going to be a blast!" HER DRESSING ROOM! How the hell was I supposed to get in there? I sat defeated for about three minutes and then decided to get off my ass and actually do something.
I ran around to the back of the venue where I noticed a door that said "Do Not Enter" ha ha since when did Sodapop Curtis, oops i mean, Agent S.P. Curtis do what he was told? So i opened the door. On the other side was a long hallway. I followed it until it turned down another hall, thats when I noticed two huge body guards standing by a door with a big star on it. It had to be her dressing room. I decided to take Kits advice, and think with my head this time.....and when that got me absolutely nowhere i started thinking with my... "petiteness". So what did I do? I stripped down naked and started running as fast as i possibly could down the hall and past the guards. One of the great things about being petite.. you can run fast =D I sprinted to the lobby of the venue and opened the outside door where i found myself butt naked in a sea of Britney fans. Parents covered their kids eyes, guys gave me disgusting looks, and girls well..they were enjoying this. I looked over to see a pathway through the crowd so without hesitation I started running again. I ran back around to the same door I went in earlier and down the same hall. Just when I rounded the corner I turned to grab my clothes, but they werent there. Damnit. "Looking for these?" I heard a deep voice say behind me. I turned to find myself face to chest with a six foot tall four hundred pound security guard dangling my clothes in the air. Almost peeing myself, I started to run again but this time I only got about ten feet when he tackled me to the ground. Im not sure but it feels like I shattered a rib...and a few other areas in my body, like my collar bone, and my petiteness. (wont be usin that for a while :( ) I thought I was gonna suffocate when the door in front of my face opened, and guess who it was, Britney Spears.
She asked what all the noise was and noticed a possible fan was being crushed under her massive bodyguard so she ordered him to get up. Thats when she noticed her possible fan was naked. First all she did was laugh and then she asked why I didnt have clothes on. So i explained to her my stalkerness and streaking and then gave her the reason behind it. I almost blew up too, no one makes my little brother cry and gets away with it. I dont care if your a famous pop star or a hobo, you will face the wrath of Agent S.P. Curtis!!!!!! I was almost screaming by the time I was finished. I told her how she cant treat my brother like that and how hes her biggest fan and all that. I may have scared her just a little bit, but then again I wouldnt be very threatened by a naked guy yelling at me. After all my yelling i was outta breath and panting. Britney just stared at me then started laughing again. But she agreed to make Pony the president of her fan club again cause he must be a big fan for his brother to run around naked just to tell off Britney Spears. And she also thought i was attractive so she also gave Pony free front row seats and backstage passes to every local concert for the rest of his life. After that she gave me an autographed picture and a pink silk robe. When I asked what the robe was for, she smiled and looked down then turned and shut the door.
And this concludes yet another successful mission by Agent S.P. Curtis.