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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I Know Sorry Isn't Enough

I had to tell her. I plotted all the different ways to do it in my head, but not one of them seemed to be easier than the other. I wasn't in the mood to cook dinner, so I left everyone to fend for themselves with the leftovers in the fridge. I was sitting on the couch with the TV on but not really watching it. Katie walked in the front door and noticed that I wasn't in my usual place cooking dinner. "Hey," she said walking in. "Whats for dinner?"
"It's leftover night." I said with a sigh I tried to hold back.
"Did you have fun at that party last night?" I cringed at her words.
"Katie, we need to talk about something."
Her movements were slow after that. She set her purse down on the piano bench then walked over and sat down by me on the couch.
"What's wrong?" she said placing her hand on my twiddling thumbs.
I was silent for a minute, trying to get the words out of my mouth.
"Soda, you know you can tell me." She intended on making me feel better, but it only caused me more pain.
"Katie, I got really drunk last night.....completely wasted. I don't know how it happened, I just remember waking up... and it wasn't you." I started to cry.
Katie's facial expression grew worried, "What do you mean..." My crying made her cry, and I hadnt even told her the worst part yet.
I couldnt hold off any longer, I just had to say it, "I slept with Sandy." I said
Her hand moved away from mine and she just stared with tears streaming down her face.
I started to babble on about how I was sorry and that it was a mistake, but she just continued to stare until she finally cut me off,
"I dont even know what to say to you right now." Then she got up, walked into the bedroom, and locked the door.

The next morning Pony was a little shocked to find me in his bed.
"SODA!!" I woke up to Ponyboy screaming in my face.
"What Pony, What?" i sat up rubbing my puffy red eyes.
"I thought we decided you'd stop sleeping in my bed when you got married." He said.
"Yeah well some things have changed since I cheated on her Pony." I pulled the covers back over my shoulder and rolled over facing the opposite wall.
"You did what??" He shook me.
"At that party the other night, I got wasted and.... well I slept with Sandy."
"You cheated on Katie with Sandy??"
"Yes Pony, do you need me to give you all the little details?"
"No No No, I get it." He was quick to answer. "But, Soda how could you do that?"
I rolled back over to face him, "It was a mistake Pony. A big fucking mistake." Hot tears filled my eyes, "I was drunk and I thought it was Katie, but I fucked up Pony, I fucked up bigtime and screwed my ex-girlfriend." As soon as I was finished talking Pony pulled me into a hug against his chest. Ironic, I thought I was supposed to be the big brother.
"I've never been married or cheated on anyone Soda, but if it was a mistake like you said, things should work out okay." Pony wasnt supposed to be giving me advice and telling me its okay, that was my job.
"I dunno Pony, this is bad." I admitted more to myself than to him.
"But if love is anything everyone says it is... shouldnt she forgive you?"
God why did Pony have to be so smart.
"I guess" I said. "But, I just dont know Pones,"
"Soda, I know both of you and I know how much you both love each other, if if doesnt work out for you... then love isnt what I thought it was."
I guess Pony had a point, but I just dont know yet. I felt like I couldnt possibly get any lower than this.

18 comments:

Kitty Curtis said...

I guess the kid is supposed to be smart. But he's right Soda. A relationship is made of laughs and cries and those are the ones that make it stronger. It can't all be blue roses and honey. It'll be alright, you'll see :) In the mean time our couch is available if you need it.

Carson Randle said...

Pony's right Soda :s. So is Kitty. Can't say much because they already said it :s. it'll get better, you both truely love each other blah blah sappy crap. :]

Dally Winston said...

HEY I GOT A GREAT IDEA. u could give her one free have sex with a difernt guy card. to make it even

Angela Shepard said...

Unfortunately Dally's comment made me laugh. But really, Dal?

And remember there is always someone out there who is worse off than you. But you guys will 100% work it out; you're meant to be.

Jamie said...

haha dallas.............no. dont do that -.-

wow i feel like you guys are gonna make it through this especially with a kid on the way

Jenna said...

Dallas, shut up :/

Soda, you love Katie and she loves you. Right now she might not know it, but she will forgive you. I know first hand exactly what she's feeling, and she wont ever forget what you did, or get over it. But she will forgive you, and be able to accept it. If me and Dally can make it, than you and Katie totally can

Unknown said...

You'd Be Smart Too If You Didn't Drop Outta School :P And Like Kitty Said The Couch Is Available Until You Fix Everything With Katie.

Kitty Curtis said...

Dallas, I say this because I care about you. If you don't have anything "smart" to say, shut up. You and advice, yeah not good.

Unknown said...

Dallas Never Has Anything "Smart" To Say. :P

Anonymous said...

Lmfao Pony xD And I'm sure everything will be fine with you and Katie, Soda. If you two can't make it, then I've lost all hope for relationships.

Dally Winston said...

I was just giving ideas! (that include Katie and sex and .. Me) hahaha.. Just kidding I wouldn't do that. But seriously if me and Blair can get over it u guys can

Marcia said...

I hope everything works out for you Sodapop... I always thought Sandy was abit 'loose' .... Katie seems like a doll, you will both be okay !

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blogs. But if I could make a point, and no arrogance intended, but you all need to stick to the movie/novel more... People can't keep up with all this 'add on ' characters... And taking photos of celebreties and using them as random people to just add to the story just makes it , well gay ? haha. And not in the homosexual way....

I love that there is a Cherry and Marcia now though... But who is this Jenna girl they are friends with ??? And Justin? Are they soc's or greasers ???

Jenna said...

I've been thinking about your comment, and all comments like it and I think I've come up with an explanation.

Whenever a book/movie/tv show/ etc. gets popular fan's often get attached to characters. Everyone relates the characters to different things, and see's them in different ways. When we choose to use an original character, we write about how WE think they would react.
It's also hard to write a story (which is basically what the blogs are) without making the characters grow and change.
Now S.E Hinton already told people what happens to the characters after the novel. For example she said that after the novel Soda joins the army and dies in the Vietnam war just before he turns 19. Now when our Soda started the blogs, of course he wasn't going to write just so he could kill Soda at 19. So he choose not to age Soda too much and to live Soda's life as he thinks Soda would live it (ex. meeting Katie to get over Sandy, marrying Katie,etc).
When people say we need to stick to the storyline I'm torn. Part of me agrees, the story is classic and nothing needs to be changed. However, I also think that this is 2011. Teen's go threw different things now than back then (ex. teen pregnancy is on the rise, therefor it makes more since for there to be a character who gets pregnant. Though I don't think it's realistic that so many teen friends have kids). When we write our blogs, we write with the characters in TODAY'S time, so they would be going threw the same things we do. Many of us write from things we have or are going threw, so it is all realistic.
One thing I do 100% agree with you on is the overwhelming amount of "new" or "add on" characters. Now I know, my character is not in the novel or book, so this effects me as well. I do however think some of the characters fit perfectly into the story (not trying to defend myself, but the book states that Two-Bit has a younger sister. That could be me or Jamie). I do think that some characters (though I may love them and be very good friends with them) don't have much relevance to the original story. I will not name names, because everyone deserves to have a part if they want it.
What I do think though, is that this is our blogs, and we do it all for fun. None of us actually know each other in real life, so it's not a friend thing. We don't ask people to read what we write.
I love people who enjoy reading our blogs, but when it comes down to it all, this is a story that will keep changing and growing for fun. If you don't enjoy it, nobody is forcing you to read.

Now if you've made it this far, props! I don't think I've ever written a comment this long....ever. I'm not trying to be rude/offensive/anything like that. I just want people to try and see where I'm (and I think other people here) are coming from.

Sodapop Curtis said...

i completly agree blair, i love what u said

Kitty Curtis said...

There goes ten minutes of my life I have actually used well. Wise words my friend. Uh, yeah, I don't know what else to say other than I feel like hugging Blair today.

Jenna said...

Thanks Kit. I'll expect that ASAP

Kitty Curtis said...

*virtual hug for B*

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